As I stand here cleaning and listening to J Moss Radio on Pandora, Hezekiah Walker is playing, "God Favored Me" I began to really get into it and starting singing along. I love that song and it's so true to my life - God favors me, ALWAYS! When I look back over MY life....Honey!!!! Anyways, I began thinking about church, as I always do and how I need to get back into fellowship, as I have strayed away for some time now. However, NOT to be mistaken for straying from God, that I DID NOT do...my relationship with God is strong and will remain to be. I simply stepped back from the people in the church and I feel like I have my reasons that is deeper than what's on the surface....but I won't get into that right now.
However, let me say this; I had previously worked for my church for 7 1/2 years and I loved it there. And my pastor was and still is awesome, he and his wife... awesome people who have been like second parents to me. And even now, if they know that I'm in need of some sort of assistance, they are right there for me...STILL! I adore them. So I have no issues with them, at all. My issue is with ungodly spirits in the church (generally speaking), worship that isn't real, I can go on and on...that bothers my spirit and it interferes with my worship. I'm not a perfect angel and I'm far from being innocent in any way. But I do have an issue with those people who are judgmental of others, acting as if their own ish don't stink. When the only difference between them and the next person, is that prior to stepping into church on Sunday morning, they nicely tuck their mess away into the closet until they get back home - keeping it hidden from the world. But GOD knows all and sees all!
Back to the matter at hand - we are all guilty of sin and we ALL fall short of His glory, each and everyday. But I feel offended by people who sit up in church day after day, week after week, with their "Praise the Lord" and "Hallelujah" but as soon as they step out of church, they are the most evil things, fake and phony. I understand that it might not be my business and I should worry about me and mine...I agree. However, God has equipped me with the spirit of discernment, and it's strong. And for that reason, I discern others' spirits, whether good or not so good, to the point where it affects my own, because of it being such a distraction. If only I could put it into a more clear perspective for you. It's deep and a gift I'm grateful for, but is often a burden. I literally feel other people's energy (for the lack of a better word) and MAN! And now that I'm thinking about it, it may be the reason I've recently resorted into a bubble, barely having a social life....the spirits out here are REAL!
I got off track a bit. lol So as I was listening to my good old Gospel music, I was thinking, "I would love to be among true worshipers, that are not just in church on Sunday or whenever, just to say that they're in church. I want to be around people who have genuine love for Jesus...I want to be able to feel it." A lot of churches have gotten away from real worship and are now about performance and money,etc. And as I always say, you sitting up in church every Sunday does not make you more of a Christian than it does a person who is not in church regularly.
Meanwhile, though I understand the importance of fellowship, I've been enjoying praise and worship in the comfort of my own home. However, praying that God leads me to a place of worship that will feed my spirit as I need it. God is so good to me, STILL [in spite of my own mess] and I just want to enjoy the fullness of Him, every way that I can.
I know that I was all over the place...forgive me, but I hope that you see my very random point. lol
Y'all be blessed!
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